mykidisthebest

I don't know what's surprising about it. I can pretty much use any kind of weapon, but this one seemed like the most useful so I got it back from Red first.

I know you like to act harmless, but you're secretly pretty dangerous . . .

[puts a finger to his lips]

Continue to keep it a secret, please. I've been kidnapped one too many times after people found out what I could do. I don't want to deal with that here.

Don't worry . . . I know this game pretty well. Your secrets're safe with me.

There are too many secrets going around this pasture, it's kind of amazing that any of them really stay secrets. But none of you are going back home with me, so at least there's that working on my favor.

Even if you told me a bunch of stuff right now I'd have no idea what any of it means, probably.

[snorts]

I like you too much to tell you half of my secrets, whether you know what they mean or not.

[ LETHE? ]

Should I be flattered?

If you want to be? A few of them are the whole "if I said anything about them I'd probably have to kill you or my world would be destroyed" kind of secrets. And god knows you have enough problems without any Transendentals coming after you on top of that. So feel free to be flattered that I'd prefer you alive and unharassed by otherwordly beings.

[ LETHE? HE'S SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!!!! ]

I--

Okay.

[ITS PROBABLY FINE???]

You're terraforming a planet, aren't you? You should focus on that.

I, personally, am not doing anything.

[ He finished his hero's journey. He's DONE bro ]

Oh.

[he seems surprised by this!]

You're retired, then?

I'm a wanted fugitive in hiding.

[ yea ]

You? What happened?

It's complicated! And stupid.

But my existence is illegal anyway, so, whatever. Laws are stupid.

[ ACAB ]

[ACAB]

Your existence is illegal.

I'd say rewrite the laws, but I don't know if that would do much on your world. I guess Styx will have to do all of the grocery shopping while you stay home.

I know some people trying for that, but I'm not holding my breath. Issue's complex.

Buuuuut if I just grow out my hair or grow a beard it'll be fine, probably . . .

You wouldn't believe how faceblind people are.

You should dye your hair too.

And get glasses.

They know to look for blonde and black, though. So.

Red . . . ?

[immediately:]

Rejected. That wouldn't look good at all. Leave it black. You can just wear a hat when you go outside. Do you have magic items on your world? I have something you can use, but it's back home...I can get it for you later.

--Hey! You said that way too fast!!

Illusion me with red hair right now, I wanna see for myself.

[illusions red hair onto him but makes it the ugliest red he can think of]

It looks terrible, I'm right.

[ THIS IS MINUET ABUSE

CHUCKS A NAPKIN AT HIS FACE ]

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