mykidisthebest

( his wings fluff up further, eyes tearing up. )

Are my feelings worthy or bullshit?! You say "what you feel is important" and then you say "don't give me bullshit about how you feel"!

Gods, pick one! Pick one so I know what you want!

[he moves a few feet closer without quite meaning to, torn between wanting to give him space and wanting to ease some of that distress.]

It's both! I want you to tell me what you're feeling, but I don't want you to put yourself down. If I don't tell you that I disagree then you're just going to keep thinking like that, aren't you?!

( perci lets out a hiss as his wings slightly lift; the hiss isn't anywhere near human. it sounds more like a swan's hiss. )

If you don't agree say "I don't agree", don't say "your feelings are bullshit"!

I don't feel like I'm as important to Lily as I am! That's not going to go away by you telling me it's dumb to think that way! Gods know I don't need you to make me feel stupid, I already know! And don't - don't give me that half-hearted praise, because I don't believe it anymore!

I'm supposed to believe that call of yours was emotional? Your voice didn't waver once... you seemed perfectly fine. I couldn't read you at all... were you just making fun of me all this time?

[he means to address everything Perci says, but then the last bit throws him so much that he can only stare dumbly, at a loss]

I--half-hearted praise? Making fun of you? Back up, what are you talking about?

Your call!

You said to my face 'oh, you're working so hard' and then you made that mass call to everyone saying "murder your sheep please, thank you" after I finished negotiating with Rose!

( he crosses his arms over himself, hugging himself tightly. )

Were you just laughing at me?

[he looks kind of like someone just dunked him in a bath full of ice water, bewildered and alarmed]

What? No! I wasn't thinking about that. I wasn't thinking about anything when I made that call. The talks with Rose are a completely separate thing. Why would you think I was laughing at you? I know how hard you were working to come to a peaceful compromise.

You weren't thinking about anything when you made that call.

( perci echoes, annoyance creeping into his voice. )

Of course. You sounded so carefree, not calm and collected at all.

[bristles]

I didn't sound upset enough for you, so everything I've ever told you before this is suddenly a lie?

You didn't sound upset at all! I know how to read expressions. If you were difficult to read that's one thing, but you seemed perfectly calm and rational then!

And when you hold such a "hey, don't hurt others" view and call for a mass slaughter both with a calm, rational affect... of course I'll be scared you never really meant anything!

Of course I sounded calm. That's--that's just what happens past a certain threshold. It's not an indication of what I'm feeling. Do you want me to be upset? Cry? Break down? I can't do that. It doesn't help anyone, and I've done that more than enough in my life already.

We know that Blossom has at least some of the information we need. We still know that. She could give us a crumb of it and it would be something for us to work with. But she chooses not to even when it costs her nothing and would mean everything for us. I'm allowed to be mad about that. It doesn't make the stupid things that I said less stupid, but--I'm still mad about that. Being pissed off at Blossom doesn't mean that I've been insincere to everyone else this whole time.

( perci opens his mouth. closes his mouth.

sighs.

puts a hand over his ear, closes his eyes briefly. )

( when he speaks, his voice is not his own. it's a near perfect mimicry of lethe's. )

Don't be civil! Be mad at me. We live together. Are you just going to be civil for the rest of your life? There's no reason to walk on eggshells in your own home.

( looks at lethe in the eye, as if saying "this you?" )

I'm upset and talking about my feelings right now, Perci! That doesn't apply to the rest of the pasture. We're supposed to be civil with everyone else, aren't we?

When you call for murder, it would be preferable if you weren't calm...!

What kind of "certain threshold" are you even talking about? This is news to me!

I don't want to worry the kids by sounding panicked!

It's the threshold for fear resistance to activate?

[lethe have you explained fear resistance to all of lily (he for sure thinks he has)]