mykidisthebest

We do it more than once a year. But birthdays are mandated days for that.

Alright. Just promise not to use the right amount of candles.

A hundred and fifty one candles wouldn't even fit on a cake. I've already thought of this, don't worry. We'll do three candles shaped like numbers. That's the only way you can manage it when people are in the hundreds or thousands.

You've already thought of this . . .

[ LETHE ]

Of course. I have an elder who is a few thousand years old. It would be embarrassing beyond words if we couldn't figure out how to put candles on a cake for him when the time comes, so I've had to take care to plan ahead. Yours is easy.

[ Contemplates living for thousands of years. One fear. ]

What is going on in your life.

A lot of things? My life is as busy as anyone else's. Do you not have any elders that old?

[ LOOKING AT HIM LIKE HE SPROUTED THREE HEADS ]

How would I know people that old?! Humans don't live that long!

You're over a hundred, though. Don't you have any else around your age?

[ Gets a REAL funny look on his face and doesn't answer for long enough that it's slightly awkward ]

Nah. Oldest guy around.

...

[realizes he probably said something he shouldn't have if his dead twin brother was the only one around his age and the sisters trapped in lightbulbs don't count]

Sorry. I thought maybe...sorry.

[ Flaps a hand ]

How do you know people that old? Isn't your world mostly normal humans? Is it a super secret power thing?

It's not secret. Or, well, if you meet someone from my world it's secret. But it's fine here.

My world is mostly humans, but when you go through an "Awakening" it's different. If you're an F-Class like me then you're basically only a little stronger than the average human. Someone who awakens as S-Class gets a huge boost to their strength and vitality though. S-Classes can live for about two hundred years, and if they train then they can live for even longer than that. If they become strong enough they can live for thousands of years--though that's rare. The people that I know who are that old come from other worlds.

--Wait. So . . . your world already has people who traveled to it from other universes?

Yeah. Kind of! They can't interfere with the world directly, so I mostly see them in dungeons and not actually on my planet. Some of them are trying to help me save my world and the others are trying to speed up its destruction. The more that people from my world know about their existence, the more unstable the protection around the planet is. It's a double-edged sword.

[ New level of existential fear unlocked ]

Holy shit.

[fear resistance is great for dealing with existential fears exactly like that one]

I'm working on fixing the situation, don't worry.

So if we wanted to come help, we'd be making it even worse??

I have no idea. You're not the same as any of the Transcendentals, so as far as I know you're outside of the system. That means the same rules wouldn't apply to you.

[ so you're saying there's a chance.jpg ]

I guess if we blended in well enough it might be fine regardless?

Why the hell are people trying to destroy a random world, though.

[don't get any funny ideas mister]

Filial piety. The source of our universe creates and destroys worlds at random. It's my worlds turn to be swallowed up by the source, so the faction that wants to help the source tries to speed things along.

...

This is the most garbage case of entropy I've ever heard of.

I obviously don't like it since I won't want my world to be destroyed. But we have a method for dealing with it! You can defend your world from being swallowed up.

What's the method?

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